Building blocks and memory loss

I have a horrible memory. My memories of my childhood are pretty vague. I have a hard time remembering what specifically a book was about a week or so after I have read it. I'll think of a really awesome phrase or unravel a problem...only to watch it slowly drift into ??? I'll try to remember your name - repeat it after I meet you, write your name down and a detail about you, go for context, but.....it takes me a long time and LOTS of repetition to remember it. Maybe I'm lazy....maybe it's just me....maybe it's a guy thing....I don't' know. But I find it frustrating and it makes me tend to go even higher on the introvert scale. I'm not a particularly quick thinker, but I'm thoughtful - and it is frustrating to just watch those thoughts sail into good-bye.

God knows me. He knows I have a horrible memory. So he patiently builds into me. Through a thought here, an experience there, a conversation over lunch with a friend, a blog post read, a book that catches my attention, a class I'm invited to by a friend...He slowly, lovingly, patiently builds into me.

I've seen Him do it a number of times in my life where there is "convergence" of thoughts, ideas, and experiences that seem to shout out life change is coming or pay attention or join me.

I'm sensing now is another one of those "building block" times. God is trying to teach me about....move me toward....open my eyes to..........something to do with a deeper understanding of people who are different than me. People who are from different races, cultures, and economic situations.

Some of the building blocks include:

Books (I'm not really going to "review" these books as I honestly don't remember a lot of details *sigh* but I would recommend them each - how weird is that!):

• Letters Across the Divide by David Anderson and Brent Zuercher - I actually have an autographed copy of this book! Apparently I picked it up in 2003. It is a true story of two friends, one African American and the other white, that explores racism, friendship, and faith thru a series of letters they exchange.

• same kind of different As me. by Ron Hall and Denver Moore - I just finished this book a week or so ago and it totally captivated me. It is a true story about a homeless man who started out life as a sharecropper and an upscale art dealer who end up becoming friends. The paths that their lives take to introduce them to each other and the relationships that form because of it are fascinating.

• the beautiful struggle by ta-nehisi coates - I read this book last year probably because I saw someone post about it or read a review in a magazine. It is a beautifully written book. Honestly much of the language that was used was unfamiliar to me - some urban terms, some hip hop, just different. But the phrasing, use of language was too engaging to put down. You should read this review to really get a flavor for this true story of a young black man's journey to adulthood in Baltimore.

Church - We have been worshiping at Sanctuary Covenant Church, a multi-ethnic, multi-racial, multi-cultural church that has challenged my thinking. Can you say "Hip-Hop Sunday!"

Classes - City Matters - a class offered by the Sanctuary's Community Development Corporation that teaches around Urban issues. It has really opened my eyes, and heart, to issues of poverty, justice, race, and faith in the city. If you live anywhere near the Minneapolis area this is a class you should seek out and attend.

And so it goes. I might not "remember" much. But somehow all of these experiences are building into me and preparing my heart for something God is already doing and wants me to join in. My prayer is that I recognize what that is....and respond with all of my heart, soul, mind and strength.

Confessions of a stay at home dad...

Sometimes, I feel guilty about being a stay at home dad. I mean....my youngest child is 10 years old. My days during the school year are all mine from 9 -3 every day. I am the luckiest guy in the world to be able to have the opportunity to be a primary influence on my kids during these years but....at times....I still feel guilty.

I feel a tremendous amount of pressure.....let's see, that's not really the right word....responsibility to use my time wisely. Trying to define "wisely" is the challenge. When I first became a stay at home dad it was all about staying busy. I was actually afraid that I would run out of things to do....or....not do enough to justify me being home. Uhhh.....yeah....there is always plenty to do. As I have matured in this role of stay at home dad, I have discovered that I have to prioritize what is important. Here are a few of the highlights for me....

Sending and greeting - I treasure the fact that I get to wake up my kids and "send" them off to school...and be there when they get home. That simple, often brief, interaction can help determine the attitude and mood we all will carry into the day and/or evening. Small moments that in a few years will no longer be needed.

Preparing dinner - I love to cook. I'm not great at it....but I love being slighty creative and trying stuff in the kitchen. I also love the fact that by me taking the time to prepare a meal it helps form a gathering point for us all to check in. Honestly....as our life goes....we probably eat out 3X week and can only all sit down together for a meal about 2-3 times during the week. But those times are significant and beautifully mundane.

Pondering - I'm an introvert at heart. I like to roll thoughts around in my head for way too long before I can let them go, come to a conclusion, or just get distracted to the next thought. Being a stay at home dad allows me to just "sit and think" at times. This is important for me.

Getting out - Since I'm an introvert at heart I could easily and comfortably fall into the habit of not reaching out to people during the day. This is a temptation I fight every week. I have found that by listening and intentionally spending time with others - even if it is as simple as eating at the same restaurant during the week for lunch to get to know the wait staff - it helps me grow in understanding and patience. (Anyone for lunch at Ruby Tuesday's!)

Napping - I used to feel guilty about napping during the day. My wife has repeatedly told me this is okay....and that has truly been a gift. (Either way I would still nap - but I can nap with a clear consience!) My body rhythms are such that I really start to shut down between about 1 - 3 pm. Listening to my body and resting.....is good.

Those are just a few - and of course I do actually "work my list" still. Laundry, dishes, grocery shopping, post office, bank, dry cleaner....repeat. But I know that the reason I stay home isn't in what I accomplish....but that I stay home in spite of what I accomplish (as Kimpa will occasionally remind me!)....because it has a huge postive impact on our family.

The other confession I have is that I am the luckiest guy in the world to have married such a Christ centered, supportive, intelligent woman.....who has blessed me in so many ways. And what a privilege it is to walk through life together raising our children - and growing more in love with each other as the seasons pass. God is good.

Plugged In

I mused here a little about how I need to stay connected to God and what happens when I don't. After a little pondering I have come up with a list of habits (I don't want to use the word discipline for some reason!) that help me stay 'plugged in'. They are not perfect nor do they work perfectly. They are a fairly fluid mix and my ability to engage God through them varies drastically. But for me, I have found that when I follow through with these habits....I better stay in the flow of listening for, resting in, and following God's spirit. Here are a couple to start with:

Music - both playing and listening. I am a drummer and a beginning guitar player. My first desire in college was to be a jazz drummer. I have a love of music that I can't truly express. But music speaks to me....not just lyrics but the creation of music - all kinds of sounds. When I listen, whether it be secular or not, I can often be moved into the presence of God. Music calms my soul, moves my spirit, and can change my emotions. On the playing side - I worship God thru playing - especially the drums. Sounds crazy....how impacting a piece of metal or a synthetic drum head can be worship....but it moves me to a place that I connect with God and can "rest" in His presence.

Running - Running for me is my "quiet" time. It allows me to disengage from the "to do" list and focus. I usually start my runs saying, "Dear Lord Jesus, Son of God, have mercy on me, a sinner." I'll repeat that over and over and just let it sink in until it is sort of running in the background. Then I'll start to pray....and see what bubbles up. So many times a situation, a specific verse, a small phrase will pop up and I'll play with that for quite a while. The hard part is remembering after the run what I was pondering....so I try to journal a little right afterwards and come back later to flesh out those nudgings. I have found that I can't run while listening to music (funny that I can't combine the running with music!) because I focus too much on the music and not on listening. Interesting....

So those are the first two I'll share.....more later....gotta go play the guitar and go for a run!

My Attributes....Not God's

Lukewarm. Apathetic. Lazy. Fatigued. Busy. Disengaged. Distant. Disinterested.

I had a stretch awhile back that I was wondering (complaining?) about where God was. Nothing particulalry bad was going on in my life. But it felt like I was just going through the motions.

I fell into the trap of believing that it was God that had pulled back from me. I kept asking God to give me the desire to love Him more....to want Him more....to give me the energy and time to experience Him. I started to apply to him the list of attributes that I was feeling.

Lukewarm. Apathetic. Lazy. Fatigued. Busy. Disengaged. Distant. Disinterested.

At some point I finally stopped whining. I decided to think about those activities that were present in my life when I have felt most engaged and "in the flow" with God and His Spirit. It didn't take long to make that list....and then realize that I was not particpating in any of those activities. God hadn't moved of course.....I had lost my focus and my discipline. I had stopped pursuing Him - and God had honored that decision. God is patient...

I'll share that list in the future.

But before I do - what would you put on your list?

Are you actively working that list? Do you need to add or delete some things from that list?

Are you letting your feelings about God become attributes of God that He doesn't possess?

This resurrection life you received from God is not a timid, grave-tending life. It's adventurously expectant, greeting God with a childlike "What's next, Papa?" God's Spirit touches our spirits and confirms who we really are. We know who he is, and we know who we are: Father and children. And we know we are going to get what's coming to us—an unbelievable inheritance! We go through exactly what Christ goes through. If we go through the hard times with him, then we're certainly going to go through the good times with him! Romans 8:15-17

The perfect start to Father's Day?

I don't usually start to think about Father's Day this early but.....this would be a nice gift!

Voices

I had the privilege of volunteering at the Simpson Housing Shelter for homeless men last week. You can read a brief post that overviews that experience here. But for this post I wanted to focus on the voices that I heard from the guests that I listened to.

The first thing that I noticed about the voices that I heard was that most of them were hard to hear. The majority of the guys talked in hushed tones. It forced me to really listen and focus when I had a conversation with them. This was most noticeable during dinner. I had the opportunity to sit with 3-4 different men during dinner and it took all of my energy to really hear them - both from a sound standpoint and from a "don't try to think of how I should respond while they are still talking" standpoint.

Maybe some of the quiet in their voice was....

...fatigue. It must be very wearing physically, emotionally and spiritually to be on the street all day.

...fear. That a conversation they have will rob them of an opportunity they are pursuing if it is overheard. They are all struggling for resources and there are only so many available so they speak quietly of their opportunities....if they choose to share them at all.

...they want to draw you close and really listen. Yep, it could be that they want you to truly focus on them.

...shame. They are embarrassed about their situation, or their clothes, or ______, and so they speak softly....looking away or downward while still wanting to be heard.

...that's just the way they speak.

Of course, their was also the occasional guy that spoke loudly...trying to control his environment by the sheer volume with which they spoke. But that was the exception rather than the rule on this particular night.

Regardless of the volume of their voices....God spoke to me thru many of them and for that I am thankful. I hope that they somehow felt His love in those moments as well.

O Lord, hear my voice. Let your ears be attentive to my cry for mercy. Psalm 130:2

Music Profiling

(The following thoughts and/or reactions are soley my response to what I saw today. I have not looked into any factual basis for what I experienced/observed. In other words...it is totally from my perspective.)

I had some time to kill after an appointment in Burnsville today. Nothing like a mocha and some browsing at the local Christian bookstore to make the time fly by so I ventured into Northwestern Bookstore in Burnsville.

I have recently been worshipping at Sanctuary Covenant Church in Minneapolis and they will often have worship times that include hip-hop, latin, gospel flavored music and I am more of a "The Refuge" (contemporary Christian / Alternative Rock) kind of guy so I thought I'd expand my musical base a little....and maybe start to recognize more of the music I'm listening to and trying to participate with.

First I browsed the "new artist" section and picked up a Remedy Drive CD. Then on to the Gospel Section and picked up The Essential Fred Hammond. Next I ventured into the hip-hop section and...didn't pick up anything at first because all of the cases were empty shells. (Sort of like at Blockbuster when you are looking for a movie!) It was very noticeable because the hip-hop section is pretty small, on it's own rack set apart for the rest of the CD's and is the only section that was presented this way.

Oh yeah, and then there was the sign over the rack that said "Thou Shall Not Steal" - God and NW bookstores.

I don't think this would have bothered me a couple of years ago...but recently God has been opening my eyes to people who are different than me in new ways. And this little "empty shell" display that required you to get your CD from the clerk up front, combined with the "Thou Shall Not Steal" sign made me angry....and sad. I eventually grabbed the Urban D Unorthodox shell (he had come to Sanctuary a few weeks ago and led some worship time) and went to the front counter. I asked why they had they had the hip hop section displayed this way - and the clerk said that it is because "a lot of those types of CD's get stolen".

Okay, I get that. It makes sense to me for the store to notice that a certain item is more likely to be stolen and try to do things to protect their products from being lifted. But this just struck me as over the top.

First - it seems to say people who listen to hip-hop CHRISTIAN artists are more likely to steal. And I don't think it is a stretch to connect that with specific ethnic people groups/cultures. I know my first reaction when browsing that section and seeing it is the only "product controlled" section was wondering if people were watching me extra close as I browsed. It made me feel uncomfortable just looking at the CD's. (Apparently people who buy contemporary Christian, gospel, latin, alternative or any other genre of music are less likely to steal?)

Second - the bright neon green 8.5X11 "Thou Shalt Not Steal" sign. C'mon. Really? The product has all been removed anyway so what is the point of the sign? All it does is further communicate to people wandering around the store the assumption that people that listen to hip-hop are likely to steal and need to be reminded that God (and NW bookstore!) doesn't want them to. The sign is what really put the whole experience into the category of "stereotype" for me. (To me the sign and way the CD's are displayed is basically silently and indelibly screaming - if you stand in front of this section you better not be one of THOSE people that listen to hip-hop and steal CD's. You should know better and in case you forgot we, the good people of NW bookstore, are reminding you. Oh, and everyone else is watching you as well at this point!)

The whole thing just made me feel icky.

Of course the other part of the ick was that after I left and started thinking thru it all....I thought I should have asked to talk to the store manager - to find out why they had the CD's displayed as they did and then share how I felt as I looked at the CD's. My bad...'cause nothing will change without conversation and engaging people. Okay - fine. I'll go back and talk to them....and blog about it later. Hold me to it tho....I am SUCH a conflict avoider.

I'd love to hear your thoughts as well. Keep in mind - this is ALL told from only my perspective and is subject to over-simplification on my part.

But how does this strike you? And thoughts about how I should follow up?

"Do small things with great love."

"Do small things with great love." - Mother Teresa

That small phrase is what would best describe the goal I set for my night of serving at Simpson Housing Services. I have lots to ponder following my experience but thought I'd throw in a quick overview here before I post some other thoughts. For a basic description of the shelter I volunteered at and the services the men there can receive you can go here.

Okay - this is the first time I have chosen to interact with people that are homeless. At least in a meaningful, more personal way. Sure, I've handed out money, made sandwiches, and done other such activities - but had never put myself in a position where I would have hours of face time with a person who is without a home. Yep, I was a little apprehensive. But it was awesome!

On a given night there are two overnight volunteers that serve from 5:45 pm until 7:00 am. The three shelter staff start work at 3 pm and leave around 10:15 pm - shortly after all the guests are supposed to be in bed. The volunteers are basically the "eyes and ears" of the staff. We take care of the guests basic needs (there are about 46 overnight guests each night) - handing out supplies, making coffee, directing traffic a little (where to get what), etc. Meeting needs and making them feel cared for and safe. This frees up the staff to meet with guests one on one and do the work of trying to provide better access to care for their guests with the ultimate goal of obtaining permanent housing for them. The volunteers rotate their turns sleeping - one from 10 -2 the other from 2 - 6. I split the difference as I am "shadowing" so I got to try to sleep from 12 - 4...but mainly I just listened to the sounds around me.

My first impression was that this was a lot like a youth lock-in! I've helped organize many a lock-in for high school kids and there were some similarities....especially in the personalities that were present. The introvert, the helper, the funny guy, the really smart guy, the guy that gets picked on a lot, the guy that thinks none of the rules apply to him, the guy who knows how to work they system....but after spending time with them....the facades start to come down and the real stuff starts to come out. Lots of sadness, anger, loss of hope...balanced with gratefulness, contentment, and the beginnings of hope.

I tried really hard to learn names. Thru the course of the evening I had about 10 conversations with specific guests that allowed me to listen to at least part of their stories. It was humbling to listen in on their journeys. Some had been homeless for years....some for just a couple of weeks.

Each face and story was unique - and I tried to respond to each one with love. Thru a smile, an encouraging word, a handshake, cookies and milk, coffee....caring. But of course...in the process I was changed. More on that later.

So - it was an evening of small moments that were incredibly rich. I can't wait to go back. The volunteer schedule is already full for May....and I find myself disappointed rather than relieved. NOT what I expected. But of course with God in the middle of it....what else should I expect!

Small moments, small things....hopefully done with great love, indeed.

Serving at Simpson

I have been blessed by others. One of those blessings is our good friends the Heglands. Their family and ours hang out a lot and have become quite the commune. A couple of months ago Lois (the mom) arranged for our families to make some sandwiches and deliver them to the Simpson Homeless Shelter downtown. They provide the sandwiches to their overnight shelter guests in the morning so they have a lunch for the day. As part of the experience we heard about the opportunity to become an overnight volunteer. That caught my attention (and Mitch and Lois') and we attended an orientation session to become overnight volunteers.

Well...tonight is my first night to be an overnight "shadow" volunteer. I'll basically hang out with the other two volunteers and learn the ropes of caring for the men that stay at the shelter. Yep, I'm a little apprehensive. But I figure if I just keep asking myself - How can I show them respect, love, and care....it will be just fine. I'm more worried about MY behavior than theirs...should be fascinating.

One more step into God opening my eyes and teaching me how to better see others with and through His. Besides...I'm not only looking with His eyes...but looking at Him in the faces of the men I will be serving. How cool is that?

I love sunsets....

God said, "It is not good for man to be alone; I'll make him a helper, a companion."

Therefore a man leaves his father and mother and embraces his wife. They become one flesh.



Yep.....

"Do you love me?"

When Jesus asks that question.....how do I respond? This quote from A.W. Tozer struck home with me today....

"O God, I have tasted Thy Goodness, and it has both satisfied me and made me thirsty for more. I am painfully conscious of my need for further grace. I am ashamed of my lack of desire. O God, the Triune God, I want to want Thee; I long to be filled with longing; I thirst to be made more thirsty still. Show me Thy glory, I pray Thee, so that I may know Thee indeed. Begin in mercy a new work of love within me. Say to my soul, "Rise up my love, my fair one, and come away." Then give me grace to rise and follow Thee up from this misty lowland where I have wandered so long."

Small moments - huge blessings

Small moments.....

High fives and hugs from my 16 y.o. son when he gets good news...

Walking in the woods with a my 10 y.o. son along with a friend and his son...just talking and listening to the sounds in the woods...

"Hey Dad, let me do this now in case I don't have time when the bus comes" - and then I get a hug and a kiss from my 4th grade son while waiting for the bus - sitting in our car because it is raining...

Hugs from my 19 y.o. daughter along with the words...I love you...while visiting at college.

a lunch date with my 22 y.o. daughter just to catch up and say "how are you, really?"

Honest answers from my wife when I ask her, "What are some things that I do that irritate you?" Followed by a list she creates on her own of the many things that I do that tell her I love her.

Yup, I'm a lucky man. And I am thankful for a God who creates HUGE blessings out of small moments.

"Hey, let's be careful out there!"

Yep - it's official. My son has successfully obtained his driver's license. Why does this feel different than when my two daughters obtained theirs?

Drew is actually a very good driver. And it was a great morning spending time together and then celebrating with breakfast at Baker's Square. Sharing these moments together is priceless. Nice job, Drew!

Hey, let's be careful out there...indeed! (Quote from Sgt. Phil Esterhaus of Hill Street Blues)

Immersed for the weekend

My wife and I are going on an "Urban Immersion" weekend retreat. This will be the first time we have done a mission/service activity without one of our sons/daughters along. We are going as part of our church's youth group. Interestingly we have an almost equal number of "adults" to "youth". (Not quite Kara Powell's 5:1 ratio for adults to youth but getting there!)

Not sure what to expect. Which is the part I'm most excited about - letting God speak through others instead of speaking through my filters...

Okay...I'm off to be immersed...my hope is that first I'll be immersed in God...and then have the opportunity to be immersed in serving His children - and in the adventure get to know someone else's story a little better!

Christian conversations

While standing in line at the local Christian bookstore I had the following comments made to me while talking about why i was wearing a 30 hour famine t-shirt...

Person #1
"I used to go to ____church but now i go to____. We are planting two churches you know. I don't know where I'll choose to go yet. Does the money from the famine all go to world vision? Hunger really isn't a problem we will ever solve. It's so big. (whispering now) I hope you enjoy learning about patience...every time I come here they are SO slow."

Person#2
"I go to ____church. Yeah, it's great for my kids but I sure wish they had more women's ministry programs. I guess as long as my kids are happy tho, we'll keep going. Sometimes I just wish there was more for me."

Maybe it was just my take on the conversations...but I left feeling icky.

Conference Quotes

Here are some of the random quotes that are rolling around in my head as I continue to process and think about all that I heard while at the Shift Conference at Willow Creek. This is simply a brain dump - no particular order and all quotes are obviously taken out of context...so read with caution! (I have also done my best to give credit where credit is due...)

Kara Powell

"Balance is what we find as we swing from one extreme to the other."
"Red Bull Youth Ministry"
"When God is looking at you what expression do you see?"
"Don't do mindless youth ministry"
"Resources make it too easy" (Don't need to rely upon God!)

Aaron Niequist

"Unforgiveness is a poison that we drink in hoping it kills someone else" (Rory Noland?)
"Talking about music is like dancing about architecture." (Elvis Costello?)
"Worship opens our eyes to what is already there."
"What are the words we are putting on peoples lips?"
"To work in a church is to get hurt." (We are human after all! What are you doing with the hurt inside of you?)

Shane Claiborne

"Where is your Calcutta?" (Mother Theresa?)
"Don't just look at people differently - look at them with new eyes - the eyes of Jesus."
"Look for Jesus in his most distressing disguises."
"It's not how much we do, it's how much we love."

Mark Yaconelli

"In this culture - cancer/illness - is our Sabbath."

Other speakers that I heard were Dan Kimball and Brian McClaren.

Dan was probably my fave speaker - even tho I have no quotes to share. He had a great message of balance in living/sharing Christ for the here and now...and for sharing Christ to impact others for the future of our eternal lives in (or outside of) the Kingdom. Was an important message for me to hear in those moments.

Brian was also great to hear. I had heard him speak once before and got to hear him twice during the conference. His spoke with gentelness and respect- challenged my thinking - and was gracious. I truly enjoyed his words of looking at the issues the church focuses on vs. the issues that people are dealing with. Opened up a bigger picture...good words...that hopefully lead to action for furthering God's Kingdom.

So there ya go! Don't you feel like you were there now....

Hangin' at Willow

Yeah...so it's been almost a year since I last connected with myself (and others) in this format. Maybe I'm back....don't know yet.

At the moment, I'm sitting at the Willow Creek SHIFT conference waiting for it all to begin. I'm looking forward to being challenged, encouraged, and renewed. Plus i get to hang with Darrin, Ali, and Jenna....very cool.

A lot has happened in the last year...more to come...maybe.

Anointing Alexey

A conversation with my 8.y.o. son, Alexey, while we are getting ready for school this morning....

"What's that stuff, Dad?"

"That's a vial of oil. We used it this weekend to anoint one another."

"What's anointing?"

Dad then does his best to describe anointing....a symbol of God's promise, blessing, being set apart, of God's spirit falling upon you, part of a prayer....way to much info for an 8 y.o.

Alexey resumes working on his math sheet....then asks....

"Do you have to be a certain age to be anointed?"

"Nope - would you like me to anoint you?"

"I dunno."

Dad continues to fold clothes, pack snacks, start the grocery list for the day.

"Hey dad, yeah, I guess I'd like to be anointed."

So we finish up a few things and I get distracted by something and a few minutes later Alexey says - "Don't forget to anoint me!"

So I stop. I grab my bible...we read a couple of passages that speak to anointing from James and Psalms. I share with him what I will do - pray a blessing over him while I anoint his head with oil in the sign of a cross.

"Do I close my eyes?"

"You don't have too."

I anoint my son. He is looking at me as I pray for him. His eyes are SO big. Jesus is living there.

We finish.

"Can you see it?" "What's it look like?!"

We go to the mirror and look. You can see a small, shiny cross on his forehead.

"Can you still see where you got anointed?"

"Nope - I've washed my head too many times since then."

"Hmmm.....hey Dad - want to wrestle!?"

And life goes on.....Praise God from whom all blessings flow.

Perception vs. Reality

I went to "The Core" this weekend. The topic was on "Helping Hurting Kids". This was the third year in a row I've attended. As usual - good training and good fellowship. I love having an opportunity to better equip our volunteers and parents - and in so doing better equip our kids. It is also great to get to know each other better outside of church.

One of the videos they used was from "The Skit Guys" showing youth ministry perceptions vs. reality. It was well done - and you can track it down here.

It has got me thinking about a conversation we had in SMYG a couple of weeks ago...

We were talking about the story of Jesus turning water into wine. (I used Laurie Polich's "Studies on the Go - John" and Grant English's devo on the passage as a frame - both great resources)

One of the questions I asked our kids was from Laurie's book -

"If you were going to throw a party with your friends and you had the opportunity to have Jesus there, do you think the party would be more fun or less fun? Why?"

The couple of students that answered - out of about 30 - generally said, "If it was a party of Christ followers it would be sweet, but He would probably make my friends who aren't Christians uncomfortable."

As I've replayed that sentiment in my head here are the questions it brings up....

* How does the kid's perception of Jesus relate to what we see of Jesus in the bible? To me it seems Jesus made those that are religious more uncomfortable than those that weren't.

* Is their perception of Christ a reflection of my teaching? Is this how I come across in my relationship with Christ? Lord, forgive me.

* Are the kids more worried about what their "non Christian" friends think about Jesus....or what Jesus thinks about them....or what Jesus thinks about their friends? I wonder where they think Jesus' focus would be during the party?

There are so many more questions it brings up.

Many of them make me uncomfortable - and bottom line is all I can say is God forgive me - and thank you for opening my eyes.

Happy Birthday, Drew

This past Wednesday (and Thursday) we celebrated my son's birthday. He turned 15.

I can see God transforming him - and it is cool to see - through his relationships, his choices, his priorities. It is such a privilege to be a parent.....and to be entrusted to nurture, encourage, support, and guide along side a child.

I know that you read this at times....so I won't get too emotional here....but know that you are loved.

15 years. Great memories. Praise God for the blessing of my son Drew. Happy Birthday, Drew.