Monday, March 15, 2010
The title intrigued me. The little jacket info about Mr. Manning was intriguing - recovering alcoholic, former priest, lived in cave, ministered to shrimpers....
So I read this short intriguing book and I found it.....hard to engage with. I liked it well enough. I enjoyed the language - Mr. Manning uses language that tends to leave me feeling raw and exposed - in a good way. But the general theme - God loves me - was what got in the way. As I was reading I was thinking - yeah, yeah....I get that God loves me. What else is there in this little book that I can wrestle with? And so I was underwhelmed.....but some of it stuck.
In his book Mr. Manning encourages the reader - through stories of his own experiences - to marinate in some verses and phrases. The two that stuck with me were:
Abba, I belong to you.
I am my beloved's and His desire is for me. (Song of Solomon 7:10)
I found myself repeating those phrases over and over. Not only for myself but on behalf of others as well. They became the background prayer while I was running, doing errands, etc.
And then I re-read the book.....again.....and yet again. Today, I was in the doctor's office and had the opportunity to read it for about the 5th time in the past 6 weeks and it hit me totally different. I am the object of God's love - with no pre-condition....just as I am. I am His. He desires me....each day....upon arising He is waiting to engage with me. He is watching over me as I sleep. His love for me never rests....never settles....never runs away but rather is active, alive, pursuing.
Somehow - after marinating with these phrases, I have awakened to God's love for me in a new, fresh way. I am experiencing God's "furious longing" for me....
Thanks Mr. Manning....for being a vessel that God speaks through this day.
If anyone would like to borrow an intriguing little book let me know....
Tuesday, March 09, 2010
But I digress.....back to the Cooper River Bridge Run. Sort of...
The last time John and I tried to race together was about 6 years ago. We both needed a goal to lose a little weight and get in better shape. So we decided to start with a triathlon! Yeah....
After we had both registered for the race we started training. I soon discovered that I liked breathing WAY more than swimming and this led me to not competing. But I did get a very nice $40 T-shirt for my registration fee. John, meanwhile, trained very hard and went into the race with an adequate bike, a nice racing wet suit, and in decent shape. He competed....but alas took a wrong turn on the bike portion of the event and was disqualified. All in all not a very good showing for the Moss boys....
So - hopefully we will be able to do better and both compete in and finish the Bridge run. Of course, the fact that I had trouble registering on-line which caused me to actually register TWICE does not bode well. But I do now have 2 really nice $40 t-shirts....hopefully I'll actually run the race as well!
The race is a 10K - flat except for that 4th mile that is all uphill at an average 4% grade.....should be fun! I'll let you know how it goes in about 4 weeks.....
Thursday, March 04, 2010
The LORD your God is with you,
Zephaniah 3:17 (NIV)
When was the last time you were quieted by God’s love?
I wish a thousand memories would flood into my brain when I ponder that question. But, if I’m honest with myself, the moments of my being quieted by God’s love are rare. And it isn’t because God’s love for me is in short supply. Zephaniah makes it very clear:
…The LORD my God is with me
…He takes great delight in me
…He rejoices over me with singing
So it must be me. It must be me not allowing myself to be quieted by God’s love. Why is that? Maybe I don’t feel like I deserve His love and it is easier to just keep moving and striving thinking I can earn His love. Maybe I’m afraid of quiet – of being alone with God so I fill my life with distractions and relationships so I look “okay” on the outside….afraid of what God might find on the inside if I pause. Maybe it’s because if I stop I might hear Him singing and that singing will start to pull me in another direction….a direction I don’t want to go.
But then a memory comes….of my then 5 y.o. son, Alexey, being hurt. But he doesn’t run to me for comfort. He turns away….so I run to him. Holding him I tell him “You are my child, I love you, it will be okay, you are my child, I love you, it will be okay”….over and over again. And gradually….he is quieted. I can feel him starting to “melt” into me as I hold him…no longer resisting me but now leaning into my embrace. And he is quiet. And in my heart I am rejoicing over him with singing.
God desires the same for you and I right now…..He takes great delight in you….lean into Him and allow His great love for you to quiet you…..and just see if you don’t hear Him singing – rejoicing over YOU…and then linger in that embrace….in God’s love!
May the God who takes great delight in you, break through into your strivings this day and quiet you with His love…..and may you hear Him rejoicing over you with singing!