Doing the right thing....

is more important than doing things right.

This phrase was listed as one of the "core values" that give direction to youth ministry at a conference I attended last fall. It is one of those phrases that sounds cool and generally makes people nod their heads in agreement.

Doing the right thing is more important than doing things right.

But I was having a hard time trying to come up with a concrete example of what this might look like in real life and in youth ministry specifically. And then I watched my son's soccer team completely destroy an opponent. They played the game right - they watched their spacing, they marked their men, they had good first touches, they used their support, they shot at the far post, they talked, they played aggressive, they scored goal after goal after goal after goal after goal. I honestly don't remember the score at halftime. It was at least 6 to 0.

Doing the right thing is more important than doing things right.

I have a lot of respect for my son's coach. I believe him to be the best coach my son has had since playing "travel" soccer. He has developed a great team concept. He has demonstrated great balance and patience with the boys involvement in other activities that conflict with soccer. He has been up front with the parents that yelling at the refs is plain wrong and he doesn't ever want to hear it. I thought the team would come out and lay off some after the half. I was wrong. They continued to score at will. The score ballooned to something greater than 12 - 0. I literally lost track. I felt embarrassed.

Doing the right thing is more important than doing things right.

To be fair the coach on the other team was not helping. He apparently had a point to make about something. He took kids out of the game and made his team play shorthanded by 2 players. His team has not won any games this year and has scored only two goals. It would have been great to see the kids out playing the last game of the year and have fun - but he tried to turn it into some kind of personal message or control thing. I felt sad for the players on his team.

Doing the right thing is more important than doing things right.

From my perspective the right thing would have been to lay back. Require all goals in the second half to be from headers. Or any shots taken have to be with your weak leg. Or set it up so that the team has to make 6 passes before shooting. Or all shots have to be taken outside goalie box. It just seems pounding the ball in wasn't the right thing....even though they were playing the game right. There are things that are bigger than the game. The balance between competition and compassion, destruction vs. dignity, goals vs. grace.

Doing the right thing is more important than doing things right.

Maybe I'm completely off base here. Maybe I don't understand the level of competition in "travel soccer". Maybe I don't know what the coach was trying to accomplish. Maybe I don't understand all the subtleties of the game. What I do know is how the players on the other team looked walking off the field. How the parents looked at their children - as though their child had been beat up by a bully in front of them and they were helpless to intervene. In the end, I apologized to the parents of the other team. They were very gracious and said things like "It's not your fault" or "It's travel soccer, what would we expect", etc.

Doing the right thing is more important than doing things right.

Of course, I can't be free from my own rant. Other than wish for it to stop and apologize for our teams unrelenting play, I did nothing. I didn't walk over to the coach and ask him to have his team pull back. I just watched - as one group of children destroyed another group. I didn't do the right thing..........I did what the culture says is doing things right.....stay quiet, don't rock the boat, don't cause a scene, don't embarrass your child......

I wish I hadn't needed an example of what "Doing the right thing is more important than doing things right" may mean in real life. It came at the expense of a group of children. And I am ashamed. Lord, help me not sit idly by the next time, know that I have seen that ......

Doing the right thing is more important than doing things right.